I’ve been thinking about this since my interview. Most of the applicants were there for the BTEC, and hadn’t even finished their GCSEs yet. And despite the glowing feedback I got from my interview, as they wondered where I’d been this whole time instead of already working as a MUA for a long time, I have been feeling a little insecure.
I keep asking myself – have I missed the best time to train? For various reasons I’ve gone over before, I never had the confidence. I pushed myself in other, less artistic and free directions that never made me massively happy. I could safely hide behind textbooks, or behind the computer screen of yet another dead end, soulless job that made me want to jump off the nearest bridge. I had forgotten makeup as anything but something I had way too much of for someone who spent long periods of time being too depressed and anxious to leave the house. Now, thanks to being in a really good place mentally thanks to my ever supportive parents (who’ve been through all my many whims), fiancé, sister, and a few choice friends (you know who you are), I’ve finally had the confidence to follow a dream I barely ever spoke about until the last year or so.
The industry has, for the most part, been very supportive. Other artists often will jump at the chance to give advice, even if it’s still hard to get taken on as an assistant anywhere. One of those vicious circle things – need to do testing for portfolio, can’t get people to test with you without one. Sigh. But that’s why I’ve been arranging my own tests.
So there’s no real reason to feel insecure. Everyone I’ve worked with has praised me up and down. The folks at college couldn’t say enough about my work. My support system is always there. Other artists help and give me ideas. Yet I find myself insecure all because of the number on my passport. I fear I missed the boat and I won’t ever get those dreams.
Am I starting too late? Or am I being a silly bean? I reckon it’s probably the latter, but I guess only time will tell.